


The High Cost of Love

by vyduan



Category: Alias (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23866756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vyduan/pseuds/vyduan
Summary: The CIA orders Sydney to get close to Sark and find out his endgame
Relationships: Sydney Bristow/Julian Sark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	The High Cost of Love

**Author's Note:**

> S2 after Sark joins SD-6. Irina is not in custody and there is no Evil!Francie. Veers off from there. One shot.

**The High Cost of Love**  
  
"You can't order me to do this, Vaughn." She twisted away with violence, choosing to study the intricate details of the chain link fence.  
  
"No one's asking you to sleep with him," he volleyed back, brow wrinkling. "All we are asking you to do is gain his trust and confidence. How you do that is up to you."

"I can't just go from hating his guts to cozying up to him, extracting all his secrets! He'll know what I'm attempting; he knows the truth."

"He's also tried to recruit you on several occasions, has yet to reveal your double-agent status, and seems to retain a certain affection for you. You can use that."

She turned and regarded him with wary and weary eyes. "Yes, the CIA is certainly excellent at exploiting affections."

He had the decency to avert his gaze. After ninety-three interminable seconds, he cleared his throat. "Alice moved in yesterday."

She sucked in her breath, tight and cold. "You don't owe me any explanations."

"I know, but, I just thought - "

"Don't. Just don't." She stood and straightened her jacket. "Are we done here?"

She was out the door before he had a chance to answer.

***

She started off small. First, she gradually softened her facial expressions from outright hostility to a neutral dispassion. This, of course, took the better part of two and a half months. Changing allegiances was subtle work. After the sixth chiding from Agent Vaughn, who apparently did not appreciate her understated acting abilities, she dialed it up a notch from a blank nothingness to a rare tug of her lips and a slight lingering in her glances.

She resisted the near constant desire to roll her eyes. Eventually, she would summon the strength to exude a semblance of warmth.

***

"Sloane has taken to pairing me more and more often with Sark instead of Dixon."

"Good. Did he state why?"

"Apparently, I'm the only agent at SD-6 who shows any sign of friendliness towards him. Plus, we make a good team. Perhaps even better than Dixon and I - if only because of his constant and unwavering scrutiny. It has been near impossible to enact my countermissions lately."

"Just because your instructions have included you getting close to Sark doesn't mean your countermissions are any less important to the CIA."

Her eyes narrowed into dangerous, hazel slits. "Have I been derelict in my duties?"

"No, no. Of course not. I just wanted to remind you of the greater objective at stake. Learn what you can about Derevko from Sark. But do not allow it to compromise tearing down the Alliance."

"I don't need you to remind me of anything, Agent Vaughn. I am well versed in the brutal consequences of my actions - far more than you will ever experience."

"Syd, I - "

"It's Agent Bristow, please."

He paused. His green eyes flashed momentarily and then resigned themselves to their fate. "I see."

"I'm putting a request in for a new handler. Perhaps there is another desk jockey at the Agency who would like a speedy promotion."

He flinched. "Syd - I mean, Agent Bristow - if this is about my previous comment, I didn't mean to insult your abilities or condescend to your intelligence."

"Is that what you think this is about?"

He exhaled with exasperation and dropped his face into his hands, muffling his voice. "What would you have me do, Agent Bristow?"

"Nothing, Agent Vaughn. Absolutely nothing." She would not be moved. "Congratulations on your engagement. I expect my request to be granted before the next meeting."

Her last view of him was blurred and out of focus.

***

The next time she heard his crisp British accent, she plastered a smile on her face and unfastened a button from her blouse.

***

"Hey Syd. Long time no see."

"Dixon!" She beamed her first genuine grin in months and attacked him with a fierce embrace. "I've missed you so much!"

She pulled back and her face fell when she noticed his troubled expression.

"Syd, I know I'm not your father, and that you are more than a capable, patriotic, and unwavering agent. So please know that I say this out of my love for you - both as a friend and as a past partner."

"What is it, Dixon?"

"I've heard some rumors lately..."

"Oh Dixon, you know better than to take stock in any of those."

"...Rumors that I know must be false and malicious about you and Sark... I know he's your new partner now, but remember: he is a wanted terrorist that for some lapse in US judgment, is helping us with our missions. I don't trust him (especially with you) and I worry that - well, I worry about how close you two seem to have become."

"There's nothing going on, Dixon."

Dixon shook his head ruefully. "Just be careful, Syd. I've seen the way he looks at you."

***

She refused to acknowledge that today was the day someone else walked down the aisle with the life she'd always wanted.

She lay there next to golden blond curls, desperate to scrub her skin clean.

***

"Is it true? Tell me it isn't true."

She forced her heart rate to slacken and swallowed the thick lump in her throat. "What are you talking about, Will?"

"Did you think I wouldn't find out? How could you do this to me - with _him_ of all people?"

"I can explain, Will. Please - "

"We're through. I never want to see you again."

She fought her instinct to blink away her rapidly descending tears. Let him see. He deserved that, at least.

***

She packed only a few things. He waited for her on the tarmac.

***

"You," she spat. "You know nothing about love. Do you think that because love is freely given, that love is free? That it costs the giver nothing? Love is not free. Love is costly." Her voice dropped to barely a whisper. "To love you has cost me everything."

He sighed and forced the barrel deeper into the back of her skull. "I tire of this charade, Sydney. Don't you think I knew what you were from the very start?"

She stilled her lungs, as if the very act of breathing would trigger her death. She clenched her fists and exhaled, the air hissing from her drawn lips. "And what am I?"

"A tool."

"Ironic, coming from you."

"I've always known about your sporadic check-ins with your father for this elaborate triple agency. I am not nearly as blind as Sloane."

"You are blind in the only area that matters, Sark. I love you; you just refuse me."

"Enough. Goodbye, Sydney. You should have never betrayed me."

**Author's Note:**

> The fic was inspired from two lyrics in Sheryl Crow's song, Love is Free. "Oh oh everybody's making love / Cause love is free." When I heard this on the radio, I got really mad because, well, love is NOT free. And then, the line, "Do you think that because love is freely given, that love is free?" popped into my head. Of course, I had to give it a home.


End file.
